Riverdale recap: Girls just wants to have BIG FUN in ‘Heathers’ musical episode

It’s musical time in Riverdale! And with tonight marking the show’s second musical episode, I firmly believe that this entire show should be a musical. The musical episodes are just SO GOOD. And this one wasted no time in diving right into things…

Hermione comes to the school concerned with the students performing Heather: The Musical as it’s about teen violence and suicide, and this is Riverdale after all, a place where a student was murdered at the end of the last musical. (R.I.P. Midge). So yeah, Hermione kind of has a VERY VALID point. But Kevin is determined to change her mind, and he does so with a song. Singing “Beautiful,” Kevin is joined by Veronica, Archie, Josie, Betty, and even Jughead (whose unrelated mission this week is to shut down his mom’s drug lab). And by the end of the song, Hermione has a realization: “Are all of you this miserable?” she asks a group of TEENS IN HIGH SCHOOL. Yes, OF COURSE they are!! And apparently, that’s enough for her to okay the musical because the next thing we see is Kevin talking to his cast.

Kevin informs everyone that he’s brought on Evelyn as his co-director and Toni as his choreographer and neither decision sits well. Betty thinks Evelyn is using the musical as some sort of Farm recruitment mission, and the entire point of this musical for Cheryl was to give her some space from Toni. So … let the drama commence!

Before rehearsal, Evelyn leads the cast in a meditation about how they’re going to explore their personal trauma through art. In other words, Betty is totally right about her using this play to get students to join the Farm. But things get far more interesting when Cheryl and Toni battle it out singing “Candy Store,” which ends with Cheryl shoving her ex.

Evelyn then announces that the Farm, which is sponsoring the play, is throwing them all a party that night. But when Veronica heads home to change, she discovers that her parents are separating, which is arguably the least surprising thing that’s ever happened on this show? Hiram says he’s going to be staying at the Five Seasons indefinitely. As for why they’re separating, Hiram knows that Hermione sold the drugs out from under him while he was in the hospital. And surprisingly, Veronica’s upset. On the one hand, I get it. She’s a teen. Of course, you want your parents together no matter what. But also, your father is terrible and your mom tried to have him killed so did you really see a happy ending in their future?

At the party, they all perform “Big Fun,” Evelyn gives Kevin a shroom brownie, and then Reggie and Veronica hook up! I wish I could say more, but we very quickly cut to the next day, where Evelyn decides it’s time for every member of the cast to share a secret. It’s then that Kevin and Fangs connect over the fact that Midge has been haunting them. And then there’s Sweet Pea, who outs Josie and Archie’s relationship, which leads directly to Veronica revealing that her parents are splitting up. And while all of this is going down, Jughead is casually chilling next to Betty eating a bag of chips. This dude has a mom who’s selling drugs and he is straight CHILLIN.

All of those secrets being revealed leads to Archie asking Josie if she wants to make it official — she doesn’t, yet — and Reggie telling Veronica that they shouldn’t be seeing each other right now.

(Next: Edgar Evernever makes his big entrance!)

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